my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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