I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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