if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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