weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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