like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
