I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
