omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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