By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
