For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
