Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
