Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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