Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
