he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
