God, you're like boner-b-gone
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
