I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
