Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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