yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
