if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
