we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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