if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
