I think I died a long time ago.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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