I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
