yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
