How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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