maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no you cant smoke seaweed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
