I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
