my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
