awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
