I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This house was built for laser tag.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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