Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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