I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize