Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish you could order shots online.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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