"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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