She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
