mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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