I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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