Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
