I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
