Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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