Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
