he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
