Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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