You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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