I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
