HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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