The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
