if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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