why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
