i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
