Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
