i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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