Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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