im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
