she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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