True but thats because hes a fetus.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
