Quick, to the slutcave!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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