Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
