Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
