I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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