No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
