Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
